tumblings from a cambridge notebook…
by bam
dispatch from 02139… in which the chair explores the nooks and crannies of this wonderland where at every turn, it seems, there is something to capture the imagination and set it soaring…
because i’ve somehow managed to decorate my days-long fever with wall-to-wall crimson spots (ever conscious of the college colors), i’ve decided that the wisest dispatch here this morning would be the one in which i merely shake out my reporter’s notebook from this enchanted week in cambridge, one in which we launched deep and wide into orientation at the white clapboard lippmann house where the cottage garden blooms and where already i’ve encountered a slew of amazing souls from all around the world.
it is pinch-me hard to believe, quite often, that i am in fact sitting in a chair in a sun-streamed assembly room, looking up at a wall, where there hangs a banner that reads: “nieman foundation for journalism at harvard.”
but there we sit, eight hours in a day, absorbing all they have to tell us about this year of, as the curator of us all so beautifully put it: “exposure to big and wonderful minds.” not a bad agenda for a year.
among us is a foreign correspondent (whose identity i must keep masked) who tells tales of interviewing terrorists and then being told that if the interviews don’t work out, maybe she could marry one of the ol’ bomb-lobbers. yet another is a woman who has dedicated her life and every waking second of the last two years to documenting every single homicide in washington, d.c.; she has been in court for every hearing and proceeding of every bloody death in the district, she hears from victim’s families and suspects and accusers, along with eyewitnesses, and a host of hangers-on, and she was in tears when she got up to introduce herself and explained that in order to come on the fellowship she had to close down her site, and for the first time in two years, there were murders in d.c. going down undocumented this week, unwatched by her watchful eyes.
the conversation i’ll not ever forget is the one that unfolded the other night, sitting at a picnic table, beside a man from a country i won’t name (for confidentiality reasons), who told me that he is publishing a book on the history of his country, and that when he returned home at the end of this year, “trouble will be waiting.”
when i asked what exactly “trouble” meant, he quietly answered, “prison.”
“how long,” i asked.
he shook his head. he didn’t know. but he had two friends, he told me, who’d been in prison 17 years already.
you don’t engage in conversations like those and not begin to feel a shifting deep inside, as you realize that around the world lives are risked for the work that journalists — hellbent on truth-telling, no matter the cost — do each and every day, recording every bloody uprising, every random gang-bang.
on the other end of an indelible spectrum, i’ve been witness to my little fellow, the one who in recent weeks was scared to death about leaving home, the one who on the morning of our leaving, when i walked into his bedroom at dawn to announce, “it’s time to go,” burst into unbroken sobs. i have been watching him cast aside every doubt and worry and dive into friendships with kids he never knew a week ago. even when they don’t speak a word of english.
the most heavenly of those friendships is the one we’ve come to call the three musketeers: there is my little guy, who speaks barely a word of spanish; there is a little boy from spain who speaks barely a word of english; and, in the middle, there is a little fellow whose parents are from argentina, but who has lived in cambridge his whole life, and who fluidly and fluently is the verbal glue between all three. that and the universal conjunction, the soccer ball, which needs no translation, and which the other night, on the sloping lawn of the lippmann house, steering clear of the butterfly bush and the cosmos, was the magnet that drew some 20 kids, from the diaper-set to the 11-year-old ringleaders, into a game that would not quit, not till well after the last drop of cambridge sunlight had been wrung from the night sky.
in my fevered state, it’s hard to find words for how darn proud i am of that little fellow, who has dug down deep and pulled forth a motherlode of courage and great good wit, to already claim a host of friends from all around the world. glory be to the angels and saints to whom i’ve prayed for months, for this very answer to countless whispered pleadings.
and so this week, more than anything, has been about making friends, peeling back that layer that we all show to the world, and through the simple act of asking questions, and listening carefully to the stories that spill and spill, finding divine connection that will carry us through a short and winding year.
a mother from south africa told me how, through meditation, she came to know she was birthing twins. a radio broadcaster from chile extolled the virtues of a chilean feminist poet who’s been clouded by pablo neruda’s blinding fame; and she and i, now on a shared poetry quest, intend to trek to grolier’s, the oldest poetry-only bookstore in the country, just off harvard square. a food writer from new orleans promised he’d make us gumbo.
and so it goes. all upholstered by my smashing case of spots, in harvard crimson colors.
next up: shopping for classes. on the list? “poetry and religion,” in which we explore the works of Wallace Stevens, Emily Dickinson, Gerard Manley Hopkins, T.S. Eliot, W.H. Auden, Dylan Thomas, Elizabeth Bishop, Anna Akhmatova, Philip Larkin, Ted Hughes, Carol Ann Duffy, Sylvia Plath. or maybe “the science of cooking,” yes, cooking. or perhaps wynton marsalis’ ongoing lecture series. or whatever else tumbles on my hungry path.
and by the way, oh goodness what a difference a year makes, we take the college boy back to amherst tomorrow morn. it will soon be just the three of us. and already i miss that gorgeous soul who inhabits such an enormous chunk of my heart.
do you, too, revel in the art of discovering those divine connections that draw us together and hold us forever after? (and how was that for a rhetorical question…)
I feel like I am standing next to you as I read this…..thank you….I truely hope that one day you will publish a book or a book of poetry…….miss you, my dear.
by the by, I do revel in teh divine connections that bring us together….in fact, I think that nothing is coincidence….we are meant to connect when we connet.
bam…this all sounds wonderful, but I confess I’m a tad concerned by your spots and fever. What IS that anyway??
But oh, what a joy to see your little guy do so well, what a joy to be somewhere so different, exciting, and so darn fun. It’s revivifying I tell you. You sound all awash in new energy despite the fevered spots.
And yes, I live for those kinds of connections too. It sounds like you’re off to an excellent beginning in your year of wonder.
Do you remember, ‘way back, the little bro agreed to go on the adventure, saying it was time for him to “see the world”? I smiled at that, but oh how prophetic it was. Here he is, out to meet the world, and it’s coming to meet him halfway, on his own (soccer) turf. What a magical year it’s shaping up to be already.
i do remember, and i was melting all over the lawn the other night as i watched him amid a united nations of kids, gleefully leading them along with his big happy smile. he takes my breath away.
I’m with jcv, concerned about the spots. Have you self-diagnosed? How wonderfully (except for fevered spots) this new adventure is going. So much emotion, for all of you! It is connections that make life worth living and help us to reach beyond ourselves to understand others’ circumstances. Such bravery is needed every day! Bless all of you for being brave!!! This is all so darn exciting!
dear chair mamas, i promise i am not self-diagnosing. i have been to mt. auburn’s walk-in clinic twice and am now good friends with the dear nurses there. let me tell you there is nothing like the compassion of a nurse when you are brand new to a place, you feel like crapola, and you are covered in bright red spots. just a weird virus. can you believe the darn timing?!?!?!?!?
Barbara, I for SURE didn’t mean that in a negative way. Just figured when you’re a nurse, you figure things out! With all the moving stress/unknowns of leaving your cozy nest, not surprised at all that the immune system gave you a curveball. Dangit. And that’s for sure for sure for sure about a compassionate nurse. That’s a taste for you of how all the people whose lives you touched while nursing felt — thank you, God, for this compassionate woman with the understanding heart and gentle hands. And it’s how our hearts feel when you touch them here at the table … thank you, God, for this dear woman who lets us share her heart …. Here’s praying for zippyquick healing and feeling better oh-so-soon!
dearest N, i totally didn’t take anything with even the slightest negative tinge. i took it for the wholly loving way you are, you and all the chairs. it is just like most of us to worry long after send buttons are pushed whether even an utterance of a consonant or vowel could POSSIBLY be construed in a way other than we have meant it. after all these tables, and all these years, i know your heart to be only golden. and by the way, if i was my immune system, i’d up and walk out on the job. but dear God please don’t let that happen. i’ve got work to do, and people to love……xoxox
Hey B…you give new meaning to connecting all the dots and even as exhilarating and exciting as that may be it can take a toll even in the short term..what an amazing adventure you all are on and oh how I think of the Tedster and that face,smile and heart of a brave soul.Am sending you all lots of love and hugs but extra special ones for my guy.Also please,please,please keep NOLA in your prayers as Ron and family,as of our last discussion,will be “hunkering”down at Zephyr Stadium in an underground bunker of sorts as Isaac threatens to cause some major damage and heartache for citizens of “Nawlins”…..xoxo…Lynette…
oh, sweet lynette, nawlins is in our prayers big time. you made me laugh at your “connect the dots!” i am now calling it crimson-spotted fever. and as i type, it is fading into the sunset…..i HOPE! i LOVE seeing you here, by the way. what a blessing.
Hey b…you know how”challenged” i am on this damn thing..kept checking for you on my email and thinking something “aint”right that I hadn’t heard from you…as if your new days aren’t filled with tons of firsts.Happy to hear your dots are diminishing but a crimson-spotted anything always looks best on a crimson-spotted critter.Everyone en la familia safe and sound in N.O. thankfully..just don’t what awaits them when they can get back into their homes..they’re in Metairie in Jefferson Parish and I had heard alot of that Parish lost power. Will keep you posted…also apparently the owner of the Zephyrs is looking to sell the team so Ron is very on edge about the ramifications of that..also hadn’t known about and therefore hadn’t read all your other sites…didn’t know about the mammo stuff,Teddy at camp etc etc…but oh,oh,oh how could you know I wanted Paul to make me a tepee and a tree house in the back yard at mom and dad’s..soon or whenever we move over there???Also that I long to find on my own a real,true blue authentic arrow head..not buy one..On a vacation to Baraboo many many moons ago while playing and splashing around in the lake Ron reached down,grabbed some sand and what lay in his hand was the most perfectly chiseled in tact beautiful arrow head and I have never gotten over it..the arrow head has long since disappeared but not the memory of it..am also looking to find real old arrows to display in a vase…Miss Eclectic is my name…the older,more wabi-sabi an item is is my game…enough already…love you,sweetie…keep me posted…L…