to name them is a prayer…
by bam

the thought struck me, as thoughts often do, as i got to the last line of a poem that read (to me anyway) as a prayer.
the last lines were these:
I take refuge in You
from the inextricable mischief
of every thing You made,
eggs, milk, cinnamon, kisses, sleep.
it was in the quiet of the quotidian, the kisses tucked in between the cinnamon and sleep. the noticing the eggs and milk. that’s what took my breath away. nine hundred times out of 10, eggs and milk might be mere scribbles on a grocery list, but really, when you pause long enough, when you think about it, when you find them there on the shelf of the icebox, and don’t find yourself dashing to the store to grab the eggs to make the french toast your kid home from college is hungry for, their being there at all is a blessing, a grace, a reason to whisper hallelujah, which is just a jubilant form of thank you.
it’s in the fine grain, again and again, that some of the most sumptuous gratitudes—graces—are found. the hundred and one barely perceptible goodnesses that cross our paths each day. but if we don’t name them, do we notice them?
to name them is a prayer.
more often, too often, when we sit down to count our blessings, we sweep across the broad terrain of our lives, grab the big stuff, swoop right over the infinitesimal, and, well, we lose ’em, lose their power to inject a jolt of realizing just how darn blessed we really truly are.
talk to someone who’s never heard a cardinal sing the world to sleep. or the pit-a-pat of rain on the roof. talk to someone who can’t push up from a chair. or saunter down to the mailbox. or taste the tart-sweet pop of a pomegranate seed. ask them how hard they might have prayed for that sound, that step, that sweetness.
what we don’t notice, all the things that we forget to count, just might be the out-of-reach to someone else. just might be the thing for which they pray so mightily. day after holy, holy day…
seems right to up our game, our paying-attention game. it’s a praying pose, after all.
and so, in this season of counting up and gathering a motherlode of blessings, i decided to give it a whirl, to put my eye to the fine-grain ones, the ones that come without bullhorn or billboard, the ones that simply quietly punctuate the day. i kept watch across the week. and knowing that to name them is a prayer, i named them, each and every one. here’s an abbreviated census:
- my answer man of a brother, the one i know i can call midway through turkey prep to get an educated opinion on whether to leave the naked bird to air dry in fridge, or leave him (the bird, not the brother) shrink-wrapped for another cold dark night.
- the husband who sees the joy in a vintage turntable on which to play rescued vinyl from his youth, and thinks nothing of driving 38 miles on thanksgiving eve to fetch it from the one store that happens to have a single one in stock.
- the rare, rare gift of standing shoulder-to-shoulder at the cookstove with my firstborn, (well, really, my shoulder hits him at about mid-rib) instead of being connected by the long, long-distance phone line.
- knowing two boys are in beds up above my head as i sit here tap-tapping on the keys, and the sheer joy of knowing they’re stirring when i hear the floorboards creak.
- the heating and cooling guy who two years ago promised he’d get us a new vent for over the stove, and at 4 o’clock on the eve of thanksgiving called to say he was on his way over. and then promised no schmutz would flutter down into the pots already simmering away on the stove….
- the lull on thanksgiving eve, when the potatoes have been mashed, the naked bird is air-drying, and the choreographed list awaits the dawn….
- and on the day of feasting itself, nothing beats the sheer hallelujah of finally, finally having every last morsel out of the oven, off the stove, and on the table. and as you plop your bum in the chair, pour your knob of prosecco, you look across the maple planks, set with hand-me-down plates and rescued candlesticks, and drink in the faces of those you so deeply, dearly love.
- the pink wash of dawn that veiled the garden this morning as i hauled out the bulging bags of recyclables from a long day’s imbibing and inhaling…
- and one last one, just found tucked in the mailbox, from the darling darling little angels who live across the street, and who make my heart do cartwheels every time our days entwine:



- and no proper list would end without this: the incredible warmth and the wisdom that never ever fails to burst through the glass screen of any laptop or phone, from all the wonderful “chairs” who ring this globe. you–yes, YOU!–are among the dearest in my life, and you never ever cease to melt my heart. thank you for always being kind, always bringing wisdom, and making this the sacred place we all believe in….
what fine grains are on your list?
Gratitude for those who can orchestrate a holiday meal, like you and my sister. And that yesterday, for a variety of reasons, our dinner group was simply my sister, brother-in-law, and their son. It provided ample opportunity for us to focus on what is going on in his 30-something life without competing with his siblings. Quiet, and very special. So glad you had your loved ones around you!
Sounds perfectly heavenly! Love that your day allowed ample room for paying attention…
❤️❤️
“a reason to whisper hallelujah, which is just a jubilant form of thank you.”
Am going to say hallelujah a LOT more often.
Am so thankful for this table of wisdom and love.
❤️
❤️❤️❤️
I counted the other night’s sky, with moon illuminating coagulated cloud, among the hallelujahs. And the friend to whom I am moon-tied❤️
BAM, as always your reflection gets me reflecting, thanks!
A fine grain in the present moment is my 3 teenage grandkids cutting down our Christmas tree with my husband, a sacred tradition of many years!
AHHHHH! that sounds pretty darn heavenly. i picture them in the woods wielding ax; memories inscribed in hearts. how beloved you are. xoxoxox
Old vinyl, family, feasting, the pink wash of dawn, children’s art…. Glorious, all of it! Our Thanksgiving was quiet, contemplative, and absolutely perfect. We savored every last mouthwatering morsel of food and reveled in each sweet moment of togetherness. We pored over my grandmother’s family photo album, FaceTimed with far-flung family, and talked and laughed all night long. Evening found us side by side listening to music while I sewed and Jeff read. At one point we turned down the music and cracked open a window to the woods to better hear our great horned owls calling back and forth to one another—the high, soft voice of the female followed by the deep, soulful voice of the male… I honestly can’t remember a more restful Thanksgiving… xoxo
oh, dear Lord, it sounds as glorious as glorious could be. in every stitch.
today might beat our yesterday as we have been lunching on leftovers made into mouth-stretching towers of sandwich, then boys played football at nearby college practice football field, while i got seven pounds of brisket in the oven for tomorrow’s hanukkah feast (one day early cuz T must leave for college early sunday), and tossed the turkey carcass in my biggest pot for stock that’s simmering away. now seated in front of the fire, reading of YOUR glorious day, and knowing you’d slip slide right into this scene seamlessly. oh, to crack open a window and hear an owl….
xox
may these days never end. and may we savor each and every one along the way…..
Ah, my fine grains of thankfulness include an unplanned, shoehorned urgent 4 p.m. Wednesday dentist appointment, ferried to by a friend because the V-dub is at the car vet, to patch a molar that finally broke under the weight of a 40-some-year-old filling. (Munching Brazil nuts probably had something to do with it too.) Make-ahead dishes delayed, but Thanksgiving feast saved–later in the day, but saved. Perspective is everything.
Love the vinyl and the turntable. Both are back (as if we Luddites ever let go of them). And love that you wrote “icebox.” I grew up with that term. I have and cherish my great-grandmother’s oak icebox.
Thanksgiving and Hanukkah blessings to you, BK and the boys.
P.S. LOVE the turkey with shades!
and i thought a thanksgiving eve heating guy was a pinch!!! egad on last-minute tooth crackings. there is such a slew of thanks in your dreaded scenario, the friend with the car, the available slot, the dentist who was still there, and the dentist’s glue that put it all back together again!!!!
i love your stories. story on….
xoxox
To name them is a prayer-what a perfect sequel to last week’s ‘Praise’ post. And you are so right about initially choosing broad spectrum gratitudes-that’s exactly what I did last week. So I took your advice and paid attention to the fine grains for a few days…and I came up with the following:
-Thanksgiving dinner leftovers!
-My loving husband, who knows me better than I know myself at times.
-Daily FaceTime calls with my darling grandchildren who never fail to delight me.
-Loving parents who are doing their best to age gracefully.
-Going to the theater to see a great movie. (We went to see ‘Ghostbusters Afterlife’ yesterday and I highly recommend it!)
-Staying in touch with my nieces and nephews who are now busy young adults but still make time for Auntie Ka.
-The sisters that I love taking road trips with.
-The melt-my-heart phone calls that I receive from my stepsons each year on Mother’s Day.
-My precious pup who greets me each morning with a hug, wrapping his paws around my neck and then rubbing his soft furry cheek against mine.
Barbie, thank you for always giving me something new to consider, ruminate, hope and feel grateful for! xoxoxoxo
dear beautiful, your fine-grain blessings are so fine i feel their every joy. i sighed at “who knows me better than i know myself”…and Auntie Ka, imagining the first time that syllable was spoken and how immediately, and ever after, it’s stuck.
i love how you dive into the deep end every time. never failing to seek the gusto of it all.
blessed considering, as your list goes on and on and on….
xoxox
I’ve often wondered if our replies to your questions at the end of your posts are meant to be shared with the group or not. I hope that I’m not going overboard! On another note, Happy Hanukkah to you and your family, Barbie! I can picture you lighting the candles each night and saying prayers. I’ve also seen your brisket recipe-it sounds delicious!
They are TOTALLY meant as real questions with very very much the hope that they kindle a response, either quietly or here at the table. Either way is beautiful. I meant that I just love the way you dive in, your replies whether at the table or not always reflect how emphatically you seize the question, and ponder reply…❤️❤️
just found this first line to Carol Ann Duffy’s glorious poem, “Prayer”…
“Some days, although we cannot pray, a prayer
utters itself.”