holding her in all the light i can kindle
by bam
i lit candles in every church, chapel, cathedral, abbey. all across london, every hushed chamber into which i walked. every one that offered candle sticks, twopence or a pound. a trail of dripping wax and smoky whiffs.
a trail of prayer.
because sometimes we are left to only words unfurled from lips, from heart. and i learned long long ago that i might supercharge my words if i latch them onto light beams, send them heavenward on the strands of flame that flickers.
i kindled that flotilla of wax and wick because i knew this day was coming, this day in which a woman i love — a sister i dearly love, my youngest brother’s wife — would be in the hands of three surgeons across the arc of eight to 10 hours.
i awoke long before dawn today. i woke in black of deepest night. and i could not stop the prayers. i prayed on my knees. i prayed once i’d climbed back under toasty covers. i prayed, for a short while, straight through my dreams. and now, awake, i am keeping apace my prayer.
she, along with too many others i love, is battling cancer, breast cancer. after six godawful months of chemo, today’s the day the surgeons get to work. it will be a long and intricate day. and miles and miles away, all i’m left to do is pray.
and so, preamble to this day of prayer, knowing well there can never be enough nor too much, i lit candles at st. paul’s cathedral, the domed magnificence of sir christopher wren just north of the river thames. and i lit candles in westminster abbey, where kings and queens are crowned.
and now home, back at my old maple table, here in the kitchen of this old and drafty house, i’ve lit a candle to burn through all the hours.
those of us who believe in prayer, and who believe in candle power, we partake of incantations, we strike a match to wicks that burst into stars of light and will not be extinguished. not until the prayers have made their way to the heart of God who listens, always listens.
please, God, listen hard to this one….
i’m getting email updates from my brother who sits alone in a cincinnati hospital surgical waiting room. my glorious sister-in-law sent out one last dispatch last night, one that captures her indomitable spirit, spells out how she thoughtfully curated her “off-to-mastectomy” outfit for the day (hot pink cincinnati opera T-shirt, under her lilly pulitzer zip-up), opining “it is important to wear something more than lounging pants to your mastectomy and reconstruction surgery.” my very favorite part of her curated collection: her “f*ck this sh*t” socks (*’s are mine, for the sake of delicacy; her socks spell it wholly out, vowels and consonants un-bleeped), which pretty much suggests her take-no-prisoners stance toward obliterating every last cancer cell that dared to trespass her sacred boundaries.
please, whisper a prayer or three for her, and anyone else we know and love who is engaged in cancer obliteration.
Oh, merciful heaven … my heart is broken open and aching … oh, dearest bam, prayers heavenward and arms holding you, and your dear brother, and his dearest … with much, much love, as ever.
beyond the star-stitched dome we send those prayers, you and i who hitch so much to many-pointed burst of light. thank you, sweet angel. thank you. xoxox
Oh geez oh geez. Absolutely prayers and heading over to my “Mater” place in the chapel here as soon as I am done typing. Despite the joyful and glorious beaded moments of our days, there really are sorrowful ones too. It seems there are so many friends caught up in that rosary cycle right now. Candles and loving thoughts will be fingered one bead at a time for your “sister” and your brother and all of those you and they love.
bless you, my bead-fingering beloved friend…..bless you and bless you. i love knowing these prayers hold up my sister in law, even while she is deep under……may she awake with little pain. and may my most beloved brother be so fiercely held. xoxo
Add My prayers
Andrea Lavin Solow
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thanks, gorgeous. consider them added!
My most heartfelt prayers too, for all of you.
thank you, thank you….
I’ve been in those waiting rooms. Glad for the surgeon’s skill, grieved for the need. Waiting, believing for good outcomes.
Praying for your sister – in – love and your brother.
bless you so so much. i too have spent long hours in those rooms. i so wish i could be there with my brother today, as he and i have waited together in some of the most unforgettable waiting rooms of our lives…..thank goodness for the cyber wires that have kept us up to the minute through the whole day……
Surrounding her with golden light to banish that dark cancer from her cells! And prayers for her surgeon to do his best work!! Prayers for her family and friends to continue supporting her through the journey back to life.
thank you for the golden radiant light. hoping it kicks into overdrive now that she is on her way out of surgery, and the long hard hours are just around the bend. can’t wait for it to be sunday……or six weeks from now, for her sake…..
Lots of good thought and prayers in these days that are filled with darkness for your family and so many others…my answer is always light a candle and share that light. And my family home is Cincinnati so if need be, can always send troops to visit that one waiting alone…that wait needs company and support…
bless your heart. my family (on my mama’s side) hails from cincy too. clifton, and college hill and indian hill. kind of wonderful that my brother moved back. his magnificent wife works at the cincy opera. you are so so kind. thank you.
Sometimes life is unrelenting—sending prayers and light to you! Let it be good …
it has had quite a drumbeat lately. but blessedly between all the tight spots has come unending grace and so much kindness. the world is good. bless you for your kindness and light….
In my prayers too now!
MDP
thanks, MDP! bless your prayerful heart! xoxo
May she be surrounded in radiant, healing light. Joining my prayers with yours and sending all my love. What a valiant spirit she has! May she be restored to perfect health! xoxox
indeed, her spirit is marvelous. the socks, the outfit, the insistence that chemo rooms needed the bright color of lilly pulitzer. oh, she is a marvel. thank you for your light beams of prayer. it’s now the morning after and i am especially praying that this day does not feel like the usual “i’ve been hit by a truck” that is often how the day after unfolds…..
Keeping your sister-in-law in my prayers today. Hoping for a successful outcome and sunnier days ahead for her.
thank you so so much, dear mary!
Storming the heavens…courage for all.
thank you, thank you!
you are a good stormer, i know!
Sending my prayers to your sister in law, to your brother, to you and your family, and to her doctors! May her determination to win the battle continue as the medical profession and family do all they can to help her through this awful situation.
dear jack, bless you and thank you. she is a super trooper, and has already dictated a blog post to my brother, who is serving as her typist this morning. she brings a rare breath of vigor to every step of this equation. she shall not be daunted!!!!! (and may i muster the level of courage she shows on an hourly basis…..)
Oh my! and gosh darn this cancer.
Sending heartfelt prayers heavenward and lighting candles.
gosh darn this cancer is right!!!!!!!!! bless you so much for your prayers and light from far away. we’ve got the globe covered here. pretty darn wonderful. thank you ALLL!!!!
Oh bam. I’m just reading this now. Will light a candle for her today. Those candle prayers are really such a powerful visible sign of love and light. Hoping and praying that her surgery went well and that she’s recovering beautifully and feeling the love and light of all of us here. xo
oh, bless your heart, sweetheart. this is a road i know you know, though everyone’s road, of course, is all her own. i know you’ve got candle power, and from the bottom of my heart, i thank you. xoxox
Dearest BAM & Friends,
I’m late in replying but please know how touched I was by your dedicated post and the healing thoughts and prayers you shared. Your energy and support sustains us and encourages us to keep moving forward with positivity and patience.
Loving hugs,
Michelle
And we continue Michelle! Sending blessings for ever step of your path.