dispatch from the land of dishevelment
by bam
one of us took a tumble the other night. all one of us was trying to do was go to bed. but around here, in these disheveled days, you take your life in your hands any time you try to get from point Q to point Z. the poor tumbled person, he found himself skittering upon a pond of discarded papers. and old bulletin boards. and chin-up bars whose use has expired. and a few old campaign stickers from congressional races that didn’t quite turn out the way some of us had hoped.
it made for a terrible noise. the noise awoke me. and our resident little fellow, just sinking into a short night of sleeps, he went leaping from his bed to see what was the matter, what was the source of the fortissimo clatter. there the source lay. all asprawl. undaunted, or so he insisted. just a scattering of papers and limbs, soon rustled back into order.
i tell this tale because it’s illustrative, you might say, of the tumbled-up order (well, really, dis-order) that is the current state of awry in this house.
you can practically hear the ol’ joint moaning. the floor boards are letting out protest. long-shuttered windows, refusing to budge. nearly every available corner, it seems, is lost, under siege, is crushed by the weight of teetering piles.
we have piles of books from every era of a young boy’s growing-up years. and whole parades of paraphernalia from particular passing obsessions: we begin with trains and move onto baseball, then comes the film-camera chapter, swiftly followed by double bass/sound-recording, onto politics and rowing, then deeper and deeper into political philosophers whose first few sentences i can barely muddle through. if you were inclined toward archeological digs, you could trace the timeline of our firstborn’s obsessions — now on stand-by for storage or discard — as if the strata in metamorphic rock.
all of this to say that it’s NUTS AROUND HERE! (excuse me, i needed to let out a motherly roar!)
i’ve come to realize in the last week plus two days and 20 hours that, for the last four years, we’d existed in an artificially placid world around here (even though i wasn’t enlightened enough to grasp the relative serenity).
back then, when i cleaned the sink before tumbling to bed, it was just as clean in the dawn as it had been at midnight. when i dumped a barrel of apples into the produce bin, i could count its dwindling one-by-one. breakfast hadn’t become a three-pan production. and, heck, when i walked in the door, and lined up three unassuming pairs of shoes, they stood where i’d told them to stay, and never threatened to kill me by wolf-whistling a back-door convention of every imaginable combination of foot wear, all size 13 (or, in the unforgettable words of a long-ago seller of shoes on state street that great street in downtown chicago, a peddler who put measuring tape to the feets of my mate, and yelped, “man, you is past-noon!”).
ah, but that was then. back in the age of kid-off-at-college.
said kid, as you know, is now home. and gone is the calm, the unruffled quietude, that so soothed me. so essentially soothed me.
yes, yes, i love every ounce of the discombobulation. but, oh, it’s discombobulated, right here in these parts. and i’m always a bit slow to get with the program, so i need to untangle the knots and knead out the kinks in my nerves. i need to live in a suspended state of dishevelment, not mind that the only way down the stairs is to thread your way, ever so gingerly, between the piles of books that each hog a step. i need to double my allergy meds, what with the dust storm that’s swirling through room upon room.
it’s what happens when the carpet-ripper-outer arrives. and the painter shows up to slap a new coat of templeton gray onto the mottled walls in the bath. and bookshelves are cleared, and drawers are dumped of their fifth-grade detritus.
what just a week ago was a boy’s room, one decked out with a baseball-bat lamp, and a plush navy carpet, and the overstuffed chair i’d once bought for purposes of nursing a newborn, is now a post-collegiate den. one with splattered-maple floor, college-crest armchair, re-curated bookshelves, and, en route, a 1920s floor lamp procured via etsy — soon to arrive at the downtown greyhound station, where shipping comes at half the cost of door-to-door delivery (making for yet another urban scavenging adventure, i’m certain).
mere moments ago i was interrupted here amid my typing for a conversation that’s emblematic of the way the days are unfolding: said man, the one who lives in what we now refer to as The Studio at 522 (giving the appropriate marketer’s capitalization to even the lowly article, The, making it all seem swanky and swell), he paused by my writing room to display the morning’s dilemma, and to partake of some motherly counsel.
seems his running shoe has half-shed its heel, so he reasoned that rather than leaping out for a jog and risking its loss altogether, he’d try a bit of home repair before hitting the elliptical down in the basement. he was considering super-glu as quik-solve to the runaway shoe part, but then he realized he might spend the rest of his day glued to the round-and-round part of the shape-up machine. which led him to wonder, aloud, if anyone had ever shown up at the ER door with fitness apparatus attached.
all you can do — and i do — is laugh out loud. deeply and often.
it might be a week or so — okay, maybe a month or so — till we wrestle these piles into place. the attic — now stuffed to the gills — dare not collapse. and, sooner or later i’ll figure a way to have groceries by train car delivered.
and somehow (perhaps if i pray to the patron saint of chaos becalmed, or beg for celestial xanax to rain from the clouds) i’ll settle into the hum that surely will come soon as i catch up to the prestissimo that is now the requisite pace in these parts. these most decidedly discombobulated, deeply joy-filled, post-college parts.
some of you — my mother, for certain — might have predicted it wouldn’t take too long till i exclaimed that it sure had gotten noisy and messy around here, now that we’ve expanded the homestead’s population by 25 percent. so i’ve once again been utterly predictable. all i know is that it helps to deep breathe, and maintain a DEEP sense of hilarity. tumbling out the door for garden breaks is also restorative. but best of all is climbing the stairs and knowing that just behind the closed door at the bend in the stairs there dwells the kid i’ve so longed to have home, for even the shortest of whiles. indeed, for as short or as long as this lasts, i really and truly am thrilled beyond thrilled to absorb the oncoming, everyday tumbles and blows here in the land of dishevelment.
what are your tried-and-true measures for weathering the population transitions in your life, when someone comes or someone goes, most especially someone you deeply dearly love who arrives or departs with truckloads and train cars of stuff?
Laughter. a glass of wine during the day. Herbal tea at night. And kiss that man/child. What did you used to call him, my little man? Well, eliminate ‘little’ now. He is a man. My heart is full for you. And remember, this will all pass in a blink. Your house will be void of 25%, the noise will only be teddy, (for four more years), and the longing will begin again. So have fun. Enjoy. And embrace the chaos.
Andrea Lavin Solow
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i love you, andrea solow!!!!
I so agree! Embrace it. It will end soon enough, and quiet will once again be yours. I have two pre-schoolers napping on cots in different bedrooms this noon, not the usual occupants of the our retirement home. I’ve already tripped twice over the step stool by the bathroom sink. But I know that these days are to be embraced and relished for these are the most special of special times. Life is so much about sharing your heart, your space, showing your love constantly. I’m so happy for you that you have this special time with your son!
embrace it, i am. i promise. i pretty much pinch myself 8000 times a day. the other night, for instance, i glanced over at the couch and i saw two brothers, one 6-foot-2.75, the other barely 5 feet, entwined arms around shoulders. they were taking in the stanley cup finals. one kid was done with college, the other had just finished his last class of 8th grade. there wasn’t a care in their immediate world. and the hometown pulled it out in the final few minutes. pinch me. twas close as life comes to breathtakingly perfect….
Ooohhhhh ….. big sigh!
Oh, happy homecomings and daunting dishevelment paired with mirth! Love your loops and laces of alliterative imagery, love knowing your darling young man is creating a new space to inhabit. The stacks and piles will soon be sorted through and a renewed sense of peace and order will settle upon your 25% more love-filled home! Happy hubbub to you all. xoxo
oh, honey, love the happy hubbub. and happy happy ALMOST day of your birth anniversary….i hadn’t quite intended that long parade of popping p’s up in one of those paraphernalia sentences, but i can’t stop those long strings of sound once they start p-p-p-popping!
I loved this. Son, now married, all the way across the country, is coming home for a visit next week. Looked at his room this morning, wondering what I can do with the tower of college notebooks,in four piles, that still teeter on his dresser. Once again, I’ll just dust around them and maybe, while he is here, remember to ask what he wants me to do with them. If I cart them to the basement (yes, overflowing), on some late night when I can’t sleep I won’t have them to peruse any longer and relish his writing from 10 years ago–still that bit of him to enjoy when he’s not here. Enjoy every minute!
You answered your own question: You laugh! And you’ve got me laughing too — partly because that was a damn funny post, and also because I know how much you’re really reveling in your dishevelment.
P.S. your population expanded by 33.3 percent, not 25. So it’s even more momentous than you thought. (Do you really think this old poop of an editor could let that pass without saying something?!)
Oh, you genius! I knew I was too facile with that math. Clearly, your wizardry is not limited to right or left brain, but rather equal opportunity genius. Thank you for fixing my slip up. I cannot count the number of times you’ve kept me and who knows how many others from nosediving into pit of public shame due to some half conscious dozing at the wheel. You can be my copy editor any day, any where….xox