the lesson of eight: follow the whisper
by bam
i remember the morning. i remember the dark. i remember the quiver, there in my fingers. i remember the pounding in my heart.
i’d tiptoed out of bed, taken a deep-down breath. and then i started typing, started believing.
i’d pulled up a chair for the very first time. and i’d no clue where that typing would lead. heck, i wasn’t even sure i’d find the end of the very first sentence. but i did. sentence after sentence. so many sentences now — eight years of sentence. of fragment. of shards of my heart.
the words that are tucked away here, in this place that — for me — amounts to a treasure box, an unlocked treasure box, one that holds virtual sheafs of paper, and snapshots i lift from the stack, study as if dust motes floating across a shaft of light, the words here have been my butterfly nets, as i lope and stumble and try — oh, i try — to capture the moments of life passing by.
it’s the closest thing i know to lifting up these holy hours, to etching the words of my boys, of passing strangers, of friends, onto this screen that i pretend is parchment. that i write as a relic of life loved well. life loved deeply.
to write in the dark of the just-dawning day, to write when the sky out the window is first soaking up light, starting out black, turning to blue-tinged haze or cottony gray, depending on clouds, to write when the shadows and shapes of the trees fill in, the birds first rustle the branches, is to write at the cusp of consciousness.
this is the hour when the heart and soul, perhaps, are most porous, so what oozes through is closer to truth than anything else we might know all day.
this is the sacred hour, the hour of stillness.
and so, this hour is the one when i’ve learned to slide into my explorer’s boots, when i’ve hauled my butterfly net from the jam-packed closet, and loped around the premises to see what i catch, what i find.
and then, like a child whose attention is held, is rapt, by a ladybug landed on a leaf, or a fuzzy caterpillar inching along, i crouch down low. i pull out my looking lens, and i examine. i marvel. i wonder.
eight years. eight years today. 12.12, the chair’s birthday.
when this old chair first scratched across the kitchen floor, my little one had just turned five, my older one was nearly 13.5. i only wish i’d started before both boys were born, because then i’d have the whole cloth, and now i’ve got only a portion. priceless portion.
because more than anything this is a stack of love letters to my boys. this is a record of who their mama was, and how she loved them. it’s the surest way i know to give them the gift of my heart. because in my book, words equal heart equal love — exquisite, breathtaking, stumbling and fumbling. love that tries so hard, and yet still blows it. love that aims and misses. love that dusts off her knees and tries it again. love = a work in perpetual progress.
but beyond this place as a keeper of heart, it’s taught me one other thing, if not 100 other things, or 1,000.
it’s taught me to follow the whisper.
back when i first sat down to type, that trembly shadowed morning, i had no idea where i was going. i was typing into the dark. but i believed in the light.
i wasn’t sure where or how i’d find it. but the one thing i knew was that the surest way through the dark was one word at a time. one word quietly, boldly, sometimes trepidatiously following another.
word after word equals sentence. sentence after sentence equals moving toward truth. and in time, whole cloth is unfurled.
this is who i am, the words start to say. this is what i believe.
it’s called finding a voice. but it’s also divining for heart. if you quiet the noise, the distraction. if you muffle the ever-chattering doubt, you just might stumble upon the poetry that breathes at the pulse point of all of us.
we are infused with whisper. that’s where our dreams begin. and when — despite all the back talking we can do to ourselves, all the convincing ourselves we might as well throw in the towel, call it a day, pack up our toys and shuffle off home — when we keep our ear to the whisper, when we go with the heart that’s pushing us forward, the heart that says, over and over, “don’t mind the darkness, just live toward the light,” we’re tracing the course to the deepest-down truth. we’re becoming the blessing we are most meant to be.
maybe your whisper is dance. maybe your whisper is healing the sick. maybe your whisper is pleading: “please lift a paintbrush, tickle it into the azure, the cobalt, the tourmaline, and, please, paint a sunrise or sunset.”
my whisper told me to write. write for the depths and the shadows. examine the light. see the poetry. wrap your words around the breathtaking essence of each and every day.
my whisper said, “just keep writing.”
so i did. and along the way, oh, the beauties i’ve gathered. the beloved friends whose whispers heard mine. the ones who whisper back.
eight years later, and there’s a book in the world, the one being “mullipuffed,” even now as i type. God bless mullipuffs.
i’d long dreamed of armchairs pulled round the hearth. and kitchen tables splattered with crystals of sugar, and cream-stirred rings spilled from mugs of hot coffee. i imagined a world where kindred spirits pulled chairs to a circle, and talked about the holiness that animates their every blessed hour.
i have no clue, not an inkling, how many such tables and chairs are out there right now. but i have a picture i keep in my head, in my heart: i close my eyes and out of the darkness, out of the black velvet cloth that wraps the globe, night after night, dawn after dawn, i see golden lights glowing. dabs of candlelight here and there, all haloed together. a shimmering, glimmering necklace of light. lanterns of flame. old kitchen fixtures. maybe simply the roar of the fire, the logs of the forest offering up their incandescence — blessed sacrifice, indeed.
i typed in the dark, dawn after dawn, for eight blessed years. an octave of typing. i followed the whisper to wherever it led. it led me to here, the place where my heart nestles so soundly.
and, here in the dark, in the shadow of dawn, i’ll keep fumbling for keys and the truth. i’ll keep typing, i promise.
bless you each and every one of you who has ever pulled up a chair. bless you for listening. and following along in the dark.
what is your whisper telling you?
My whisper is starting to shout because I haven’t been listening. We’ll see if I honor it or continue to depress it. One breath at a time.
You are, indeed, “becoming the blessing [you] are most meant to be.” Thank you for taking us along with you as you journey through life, marriage, motherhood, your heart. I treasure every word you type in those dark-to-dawn mornings. Bless you. And your mullipuffed words floating out into the weary world are bringing joy, light, understanding, love, acceptance, all that is most needed by each heart. It is such a wonder to be able to pull up a chair with kindred spirits here at your table. Thank you, bless you, lots and lots of love xoxo.
thank YOU, my beautiful friend here at the table. thank you for squeezing my hand in so many moments of pure wobble, and the occasional sheer terror. and thank you for becoming my friend away from the table, too. out in the world where we both find our way….
breath upon breath, one at a time….
Happy Birthday!
P.S. I wonder what the ninth year will bring you, and us.
thanks, dear karen. for now i’m tickled by 8. “the snowman number,” my little fellow once called it. indeed.
This wonderful, thoughtful, welcoming place is, hands down, my favorite destination in the blogosphere. How I love viewing the world through your lens. You begin before daybreak and tap at your keyboard with the determination to “live toward the light.” And oh, you succeed in this – post after beautiful post. My lovely friend, your words and your writing here are nothing short of incandescent — as is your exquisite book, Slowing Time.
I count myself blessed and beyond fortunate to be able to pull up a chair here at your bountiful table in order to think, laugh, weep, and dream with you. Thank you for all that you share with us here.
Congratulations and special love to you on this 8th anniversary of this gorgeous blog!!! xoxo
blessed amy, thank you. i feel double blessed every time you hold up your looking lens, and let us see the world as you do — pulsing with poetry, and brilliant with color, light and texture….
you are SUCH a gift…..thank you katrina kenison, for bringing us magically into each other’s orbit…..
God bless us every one – and Happy Birthday Famous Author!
MDP
not famous, baby doll. purely contented. and, yes, God bless us everyone……
It’s hard to admit this, but I’m still searching for my whisper. I know it’s out there, and I feel I need just a little more time to actually hear it. In the meantime, my fervent wish every morning is that on that particular day I can become a better person than I was the day before, that I can share my portion of light and joy with others. And that is a lesson I learned here at the chair! Congratulations on 8 years of shared wisdom and comfort!
dear jack, that sounds like a beautiful and profound whisper to me. you actually bring up a rich point: the heartache of NOT knowing what the whisper is saying, or if it’s saying anything at all. i’m here to tell you there were long hollow chapters when i did not know, where i spent my days searching, searching for the path out of the woods……
i love the whisper you hear. it’s as powerful a whisper as i can imagine.
bless you for all you bring to the table. xox
Hi Barbara, This is Kitty here, Laura Amico’s mom. I pulled up a chair to join you a while back and have been sharing your posts with friends. I look forward to Fridays to read your weekly thoughts. Thanks so much.
oh, dear kitty, now that is SWEET! i love knowing that you pull up a california chair. bless your heart, thank you.
You brighten my Fridays,many thanks…
thanks, mama! (note to all: my mama has the same name as me, so that is NOT me commenting on my own meander. i promise! i keep trying to see if should could add her middle initial G or something. but it’s not working…..)
Happy birthday to the Chair! So much has happened ’round the kitchen table in those eight years. Thank you for the reminder to listen for — and to — the whisper.
my beloved ngw, i know you to be someone of many whispers — each and every one amazing. and i know you to have every gift you need to follow any one. and follow them, you do….
which is why it’s so very much fun to cheer you on and on……
by the way, bless you for all the grammatical jams from which you’ve untangled me over the years.
(note to chairs: if you ever find yourself upside-down or inside-out in a sentence or a paragraph, or if you’ve dangling participles, or any number of literary ails, this NGW is the one to extract you, and set you sailing on your ways. at the tribune, she was a TREASURE (we left the same day because, well, we both heard a whisper…..))
So so beautiful. Loved this sentence in particular: i was typing into the dark. but i believed in the light. Congratulations for all the light you have both shed on topics of hearth and home as well as for all the light you have brought in the world. You (and these pages) are the embodiment of courage and grace. Xxoo
thanks, sweet heart….xo
The chair has been a blessing in my life for almost all of the 8 years you’re celebrating today, dearest bam. I have indeed “stumbled upon the poetry that breathes at the pulse point of all of us” here with you and the chair sisters. xoxoxo
i will never forget the first time i discovered you’d come to the chair, or the table, or whichever piece of furniture this is (it’s both, i think; a place a to sit down and make yourself cozy, as well as a flat surface on which to lay down your thoughts and your cares and your worries and loves….)…
you are grace everlasting, and what a miracle that friendship is woven over shared strands of heart. even when those shards pop up on a glowing screen…..
A wise woman I worked with ( for aren’t teachers of the youngest, among the wisest?) would tell her little charges that 8 is her favorite number. Two round circles, complete in their roundness, perfectly balanced one on the other. Flip it upside down, still balanced. Turn it sideways, it’s infinity (that was a little lost on the 4 year olds). Yes, it is good to be 8. Happy Birthday, glowing candles on this table for the Season of Light.
notherbarb, you know my heart always leaps when i see you here at the table. i love your musings on 8. 8 on its side……i love that. love imagining the face of the little person trying to figure out what a toppled 8 must feel like, and then what in the world is that big word the grownup is saying…..
xoxo
thank YOU for bringing so much — so very much — to this blessed table. b.
Lovely. Happy Anniversary! What a wonderful accomplishment.
thank you, dear dear mary…..
I’m so glad I found your book, Barbara, and the lovely invitation to your table. Congratulations on your anniversary. Please keep writing; you touch my heart with the treasure you share.
bless you, elaine, and thank YOU for coming to the table. i promise to keep writing because i wouldn’t know how to stop. and thank you, thank you, for finding the book. YOU are the wonderful someone who wrote the beautiful words about curling up under your covers with Slowing Time, and oh my gosh that was a totally magical moment when I (that’s upper case for emphasis!) stumbled upon your beautiful blog and found out you’d been reading. one of the miracles of these recent weeks…….it gave me sparkles all over. THANK YOU!!!!
Sparkles! I’m so delighted to bring sparkles!
In your book you wrote, “It’s a book I hope you come to know as something of a friend.” Yes, I think a friendship has formed. There as so many things I’ve experienced that you’ve given words to, given special attention to – I’m looking forward to re-reading through the seasons and following the “Count Your Blessings” prompts.
My husband and I were raised Catholic and we attend a church where clear glass frames God’s artwork of hills and trees set against changing sky scenes.
Several years ago, we began listening to teachings and reading and learning about the rhythm and cycles of Judaism. It is a great blessing to me to read of your experiences with Shabbat and the feasts of Judaism. Thank you for sharing these things.
Happy Hanukkah!
i just found this poem fluttered onto my old pine writing table. i couldn’t scurry over here fast enough to leave it for you. it’s a slice of magic. blessings…
Winter Grace
by Patricia Fargnoli
If you have seen the snow
under the lamppost
piled up like a white beaver hat on the picnic table
or somewhere slowly falling
into the brook
to be swallowed by water,
then you have seen beauty
and know it for its transience.
And if you have gone out in the snow
for only the pleasure
of walking barely protected
from the galaxies,
the flakes settling on your parka
like the dust from just-born stars,
the cold waking you
as if from long sleeping,
then you can understand
how, more often than not,
truth is found in silence,
how the natural world comes to you
if you go out to meet it,
its icy ditches filled with dead weeds,
its vacant birdhouses, and dens
full of the sleeping.
But this is the slowed-down season
held fast by darkness
and if no one comes to keep you company
then keep watch over; your own solitude.
In that stillness, you will learn
with your whole body
the significance of cold
and the night,
which is otherwise always eluding you.
“Winter Grace” by Patricia Fargnoli, from Winter. © Hobblebush Books, 2013.