this is what it looks like when a dream comes true….
by bam
for as long as i’ve been holding pencils, folding clean white paper crisply in half, etching so-called “illustrations,” i’ve dreamed of this day.
the hours ticking down toward the deadline when the book — with signed contract — was due to the editor and publisher.
so this is what it looks like on that day. i type and type and type till my fingerpads are sore. i dream of words and sentences, and ideas plop into my head and shake me from my not-so slumber.
i was hurling toward the end, when suddenly, in that way that these things happen, a bit more was ordered up. so i am typing again. and frantically. and full of hope.
i am getting a bit teary, as i hear the rocky theme playing through my head, in that stadium between my eardrums. as i muster all the power of my thighs and calves to climb the stairs to heaven, and make good on long-held dream: to write a book, my book, a book stitched with all the heart and soul that i can muster.
i thought by now i’d be able to tell you it’s official name. the folks who decide these things spent all day yesterday pondering. but i’m still in the dark. it’s a bit like waiting to see your newborn babe. after all those months of imagining a button nose, there he slides, into your arms, and you drink in a face far more beautiful than you ever could have dreamed.
so i don’t know the title, and i don’t know what will grace the cover.
but i do know that my little typing desk is cluttered. with stacks. and dictionaries. and endless cups of coffee.
and some day soon, i’ll click the little button that says “send,” but it might as well say, “launch.” as in let your dreams go sailing toward the moon and stars.
folks around this little house are getting by on whatever scraps i can scrounge and spoon on plates. i’m trying to keep a foot in both worlds, but as the tempo builds, and deadline looms, it’s getting harder and harder to drown out the pounding in my heart, and the typing that keeps time. that propels me toward the finish line, the one i thought i’d never ever cross.
dreams come true. in storybooks and life. most especially, if someone you love keeps whispering in your ear: “i believe, i believe.”
to all of those who do, the deepest thank you.
this is short and sweet — and on deadline. apologies for breathlessness. soon as i find out the name of this endeavor, i’ll be sure to let you know. the chairs, after all, birthed all of this….
which of your dreams is the one that’s come true? and what propelled you up the final flight of stairs?
1980 , i think it probably was, you said you’d be writing a book one day. To me, you’ve been writing little books all these years, ones I’ve quietly soaked up, recently via mobile phone in a patient’s driveway, sort of like an NPR moment. 🙂 but going back to pages stored in a memory box too, all the while believing in this moment for you….for what a writer calls a book, her book, the book! In the form of “she needs to write that book” muttered in the driveway…
You have the most amazing gift, and what an honor it will be to hold it in collective hands. Love and congrats!
xoxo
bless bless bless your heart. a kindred spirit who loves being a healer, and loves framing story in her lens. a driveway moment, i can only dream of such…..
sending a gigantic hug….
I believe!
kisses. i happen to love that the first two comments here are from beloved heartmates from the halls of children’s so long long ago. some hearts can never be separated…..
So happy for you, bam! When will we be able to purchase the book you’re birthing?
autumn 2014….
SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED FOR YOU!!! And so thrilled a larger audience will read your words, feel your heart, and find their way to the table. Better get some more chairs!!! xoxoxo
I can’t wait for my own copy.
p.s. just so y’all know, THAT barbara mahany above happens to be my mother, not me. it’s been confusing my whole life, and it certainly is curious to see what looks like my name in the comment box. but i am not the one above waiting for my own copy, at least not in the way that my mom is. she does have a first name besides barbara, but she liked barbara so much she disregards her real first name, mary (which i love), and not only that, she named her first and only girl the same name.
I love this!!!! Good luck my sweet love!!!! Kisses!!! Xoxo
Sent from my iPhone
5:42 p.m. saturday, august 31, jcv’s birthday as a matter of fact, i just hit “launch.” amen, amen, and let the tears begin……just as when i birthed those magnificent boys, the tears flow to cleanse and baptize the whole of it.
blessings….
Yippeee!!!!!! Go, you!!!!
xoxoxo! bless your heart….
So excited for you! And for the rest of us at the table too!
You inspire me! Pursuing the writer’s life can be nervewracking, but most of us don’t feel like we really have a choice. We are gonna write. So excited for you and to get my hands on a copy.
i know you feel the pain. and the joy. i still owe you a letter. maybe now i can sit down and pull out that pen, and write it…..xoxo
YAY BAM! I know success and I know utter failure in this book-writing business, and I am SO impressed that you juggled caring for family and home (in two places, right?), always setting a glorious spread for us at the table and mustering the day-in, day-out self-discipline to have that literary dream finished to launch ON DEADLINE! YAY! CONGRATS! HUZZAH! (Ooh, that last one has some oomph.) HUZZAH AGAIN! I’m getting in line for a copy.
yes, yes, the UF word. egad. (a fear every time…) well, i don’t have delusions over here, that’s for sure. just hope that it finds its way into the hearts of great good souls who will understand its whispers, and find a kindred pilgrim, as dear dear lamcal so finely put it…..
by the way, it’s dedicated to my “chair” sisters. you are each there on every page……you who have stood me up when my knees felt wobbly. that we’ve managed to carve out and keep this a sacred place all these years, especially when you know what lurks out there on the internet, it’s nothing short of a miracle. and i am embracing it as that…..
I feel so teary-eyed after reading your post and your friends’ comments – so many of us eager to read your work of love !!!
xoxox i love seeing you here, ms polly, blessed heart…
the tears are returned from my old kitchen table to yours….
Launch! Oh my heart just skipped and twirled. It has been a blessing to pull up to this wonderful old kitchen table and sip my coffee and reflect. Your writings have “launched” some wonderful reflections in my soul and the subsequent stories and reflections shared around the table have grounded me on some tough days and lifted me on others.
We will wait with you in spirit as your “new one” becomes a real one! Can’t wait to hold it. 😉
xxoo to the best “Chair” ever.
xoxoxo back!
you have lit so many paths for me…..i might still be lost in some woods without your beacon. xoxox
OH OH OH!!!! I can’t WAIT! I’ve been saying from day one that the world NEEDS a beautiful bam book!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxox
Been distracted by things inconsequential so as soon as I find “time” I run over here to see what important is happening and all I can say is, wow…wonderful…delighted……xoxo
you have no idea the skip in my heart in finding you here. long overdue catch-up needed. xoxo
This is so wonderful – I can’t wait to buy a copy signed by the gifted, loving author.
bless your heart!