the gift that is my counting-down boy
by bam
“it’s advent,” he said with a twinkle.
“24 days,” he said two seconds later, not sure that i’d netted his drift.
finally, i found my way along his breadcrumb trail of hints.
“it’ll be up when you get home,” i shot right back, suddenly relieved that we’d awakened to a chandelier dangling by a mere two wires, a heavy chandelier, mind you. an antique of brass and blue-and-white porcelain, one you wouldn’t want crashing to the floor. but because the darn thing was dangling in such a dangerous way, and because there was no contraption we could contrapt to girdle it in place while we waited for the handy shock-and-wires man, i had to stay home all day, typing from my writing room.
which is a long and winding way to say: while he was off at school, and i was home cobbling stories amid chandelier-crash patrol, i tiptoed to the basement, to the box marked “early christmas,” and grabbed the string of red-plaid pockets, the one that every year since he remembers i’ve filled with little chocolates, peppermints and hints of the christmastide to come.
it’s the counting-down string, and he is not too old to count the days to christmas. nor to not want the house the way it’s always been.
and as i tiptoed up the stairs, i filled my heart and lungs with the deepest, purest knowing of just how much i’m blessed, soaked through and through, with the gift of a child who is still little boy enough to want to have that bit of magic dangling at the window. who wants to reach his little hand in there and pull out a surprise.
in these days and months since he’s been home alone, the one little someone among the trees of taller people, he has reminded me again and again just how deep a miracle he is.
oh, not simply that he’s here among us, long after the doctors told me “never.” not that i am nearly 55, and he is merely 10.
no, the real gift of my little bundle of purely answered prayer is that he is rare in the most delicious way.
“pure butter,” i just wrote of him to my beloved portland sister.
he’s a kid who halfway through dinner hops up from his chair and shimmies on the bench beside me. and when i ask (as mamas are wont to do), “why’d you just get up,” he melts me with his answer: “i wanted to sit next to you.”
now don’t think that he’s some mama’s boy. because he’s not. he’s this way with his papa, his grandma, and his big faraway brother.
more than once last week i found him sprawled across his brother’s lap, taking in a rough-and-tumble football game.
doesn’t matter that he’s fierce on a soccer field, or dribbling down a court. his essence, the one i’ve watched since he was born in a shaft of midnight light, is pure molasses gold.
he was the baby who wanted to be nestled, always, right against my chest, to absorb the lullaby of my quickly-ticking heart.
and somehow, some amazing somehow, he’s never lost that deep magnetic pull.
any minute now, i’ll be tossing on my coat and hopping on the train because, at 10 years old, he still wants me on his field trip. could not wait to tell me he saw my name on the chaperone list. could not wait to tell me i got to spend a whole cold and chilly day walking through the outdoor german market.
it is these sparks of innocence, his unfiltered exuberance, his lack of hurry in the growing-up department, that is the gift i hold in my palms as if a fragile robin’s egg.
as a mama, i straddle quite a canyon, the one that finds me taking in the college tales, and the worries that come with it, while with the other foot i am firmly planted in the giggles and the charms of fifth grade.
one night i might watch the little one smear on a slick of underarm deodorant before he tumbles into bed (“i like to smell something good when i first wake up,” he explains, as if anyone should know that), but next morning he’ll ask if i can help him cut his waffles.
it is this blessed holy middle place–not yet big and tough and smelling like a goat, still blithe enough to not mind holding tight my hand as we tiptoe through the night–that makes me whisper my unending thanks.
i am holding each and every frame, savoring the pure undiluted joy of this second round of life that came tumbling from the heavens.
bless you, my counting-down boy.
we all have gifts aplenty. as we count the days toward the longest night, and towards the holy christmas story, what might we find in your red-plaid pocket if you were to pull out but one magic parcel this fine december day?
I have much missed being at the table, and it has been wonderful to catch up tonight on the weeks I have missed. This is a sacred place, and you set the table beautifully, bam. Friday is the magical pocket I reach into each week, because it is the day I get to see my dear granddaughter who, at 14 months, loves nothing more than to hand me a book and plop into my lap to read. My heart heals from the bruises of the week every time. Having married my heartmate at an old age, and acquiring children rather than birthing them, I’ve never been around babies or known how endlessly fascinating they are. A blessing beyond measure, as is your sweet Teddy. God gives incredible gifts.
I am enjoying my 2nd night Advent pocket right now. The first pocket was the calendars themselves. Granny has been bemoaning the scarce charming German calendars of yore, so this year she sent a “previously opened” one. But that’s okay; last year I couldn’t get a Lego calendar, so used an old one and made little Lego sets for each day. This year we also have, oh joy, a Lego Star Wars calendar. It takes me back to my older son’s years of passion for Legos and Star Wars — and the year his fondest wish and our worst nightmare came true: Lego Star Wars sets. And while ‘most anything says “Christmas” better than Lego Star Wars, who can resist Yoda in a Santa suit? Well, I can, but it’s not about me.Tonight is my 2nd Advent pocket: I saw “Elf” on the shelf at the library today. I knew that I’d hear “but we’ve seen it”. Sure enough, 3 times I heard “we’ve seen it” but then, Surprise! “I love this movie!” So after dinner, we are sitting around with IMDB up and watching Will Ferrell delight in all things Christmas, singing for joy, downing sugar, and raising spirit wherever he goes. It’s like a Waltons scene if they had DVDs: We are laughing, remembering, quoting, and spilling chocolate cake crumbs on the rug. It’s a rare night that we all just hang out in one room. It’s nice! I’m making a new Advent calendar this year, one where I tuck each day’s memory away behind a door I can open any time. And I jotted a reminder on my family calendar for November 2012: “Send a Lego Calendar to son at college.” Bless all our sons who bring us so much joy!
Oh dear BAM, I’m on the hunt for a new advent calendar and haven’t yet found one to my liking. I’m glad that we have many more years to come where our sweet little one will count these days with me.You see, 11 months and some days ago, I started counting the days of my first trimester. As soon as the midwife took out her circular counter and determined that October 15th would be my due date, I not only leapt for joy for our pregnancy, but I also was giddy with the fact that I would be in the middle of my maternity leave during the days of Advent and these days that require lots and lots of candles.As October 15th came and went and our little one still wasn’t quite ready to feel the cool air of this world in her lungs, I laughed that my little one somehow knew that my favorite season was Advent. She gave me the gift of my own personal advent where I literally and figuratively lived with expectant hope. 11 days after my due date, my sweet little one came into this world, and now I daily count the many ways that I love her and the ways that she causes my heart to overflow with gratitude and awe.Jon and I are still trying to figure out bedtime rhythms. We want to read the bedtime stories, light the advent candles, talk to one another and read our “adult” advent devotions. We humbly admit that this list of evening rituals does unfold, but not always in the most graceful and smooth manner.One of the things that I count in this advent, is the minutes until my sweet little one opens her beautiful blue eyes and smiles at me. It is some great mystery that a sleep-deprived mother, both wants her daughter to sleep and simultaneously wants to see her little one’s eyes.I also count these days as blessings, where I don’t have to commute further than our sunroom, to the bedroom, to the changing table and back again. I count it a bonus, when I am able to place our little one in the moby wrap on my chest and venture out for a walkThank you for helping us to see the gift in cherishing each day in this season
chair people, don’t you love, first of all, that our new mama, slj, is tapping out comments at 6:49 in the morn. oh, i love you dears so dearly……so many stages of life we have in the holy trinity of you up above: grandmama discovering the joys of lap books and little people, mama already aching at the notion of sending her firstborn off to college (you KNOW i am right with you). and then we have our brand=new mama, a mama who holds each moment of the miracle up to the light in much the way that i have always done. i love ‘nother barb’s notion of the mama tucking away the memory for each day. i think i shall take up that lovely practice too. and slj yes i know what you mean about the not wanting to rattle a sleeping babe, yet ACHING to see those big blues flutter open again. i find my breath taken away, time and again, by the miracle of kindred spirits who circle this table. we come from so many varied stages and places in life, yet we all always find such deep common ground, fertile ground…..bless you all. so very much….
Oh I am with you on Advent Calendars, but the felt one with the little ornaments wore out, the cardboard one got tattered, and the Playmobile one scattered its pieces as they became incorporated into all other kinds of play. They were all well loved and used up. We have been Advent Calendar-less for awhile and I have missed it, but dear HH found one online and shared it on Facebook. I am entranced…http://bustedhalo.com/features/advent-calendar-2011and so now I click a day and it has sort of made me feel like hipster. I am moving with the times….and have shared it with my children. A clip from Lord of the Rings started Advent, GooGoo Dolls utube video was Saturday, and today was a Harry Potter clip on Love. We communicate with emails/skype/and text…so it is an appropriate way to share Advent as we are not all gathered under one roof. We wait together although apart and look forward to the joy of coming together Christmas Eve. Favorite quote right now…”Then I look up through leafless branches, as I never can in in any other season and see the stars shine in heaven” Anon.
Teddy is delicious, walking exuberance.!You lucky dogs you. What a boy ~ What a JOY !
This year the Christmas decorations are going up way off schedule, but last thing Nov. 30, I pulled out the Advent calendars. Each year, my generous downstairs neighbor gives me a new one, so I have a bit of a collection. But three are mainstays of Christmastide: two printed in West Germany, with “Karen 1958” and “Karen 1959” in large, round characters penciled on the backs, and another, with “Karen 1979” in a smaller scribble on the protective envelope it came in. The first two, purchased at Woolworth’s (once a Christmas wonderland for a 7- or 8-year-old) are magical scenes that still inspire my imagination, with beautifully painted animals of the Black Forest, cherubs and rosy-cheeked tykes, full of artistic perspective and depth, sparkling with old-fashioned glitter and hiding somewhat quaint presents (a toy wood-burning stove, for instance) behind flaps that neither completely stay closed or open. They don’t make ’em like that anymore. I have searched. But in 1979 I did find another enchanting Advent calendar that took its place with my German ones. The focal point of the forest-edge scene is a spreading oak that is home to “Lapin & Lapin Afternoon Teas.” Yep, it’s a Tasha Tudor Advent calendar, and it transported me to a childhood fantasy of living in a cozy tree home with the animals of the forest. Still does. It’s Tasha at her best, with a lively underground world of furry folks celebrating the holiday while others come in from the snowy cold dusk. These calendars are a nice little trip back to the magic of childhood Christmases, making a magical adult Christmas is a little easier to conjure. Happy counting down to you and your family, and to everyone at the table.
I’m enjoying perusing your archives…I so needed to read this today.
I’m looking to embrace Advent this year. Thank you for the inspiration.
bless your heart. thank you for digging deep into the chair…..and may you find the very Advent you are seeking. and may it embrace you in a big giant tender hug…..