pulling rabbits out of hats
it is what mothers do. on a rare day, on a day when stars and moons and jupiter and venus all align.
it is what mothers wish they could do every breathing day–make it all all right again. pick up the pieces. clean up the mess. shake off the bits of gravel from there on the sidewalk, where the grit scraped the knee. kiss the hurt, slap on a bandaid. make it all right again.
we know, those of us with half an ounce of living, that more often than not, we can’t right what’s wrong. can’t make the mean girls go away. can’t shift the score of the ballgame. can’t even chase the mean coach into a corner, make him tremble for what he’s done to someone we love.
but, once in a while, when the pile of wrongs piles too high, we swoop into action. we make like houdini. pull rabbits from hats.
and so it was the other morning, when i got to breathe deep of that rare sense of glory, of having triumphed, mended a hole in the day of a kid i happen to love more than life.
here’s the simple story, told only to remind me and you that we really can, every once in awhile, grab onto our britches, dash out the door, and make like a hero for someone we love. and of course it’s not about being the hero, it’s about that rare chance to do as we wish others might do for us, be for us. that rare chance to live the magnificent, luminous goldenest rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
how often have we found our sorry selves at the end of our ropes, and wished upon stars that someone would leap to our rescue? and what a beautiful thing when we find that we can do just that. for no reason other than through-and-through, inside-and-out, plain pure love.
so this boy who i adore–you’ve heard me write of him over the years–he is this week about as neck-deep in plain old unfiltered stress as a senior in high school can be: he is in the thick of tryouts for crew, a sport that has kids pulling on oars till they literally see stars and crash to the floor (don’t get me started); he is also in dress rehearsals for the spring musical; and cranking out not one but six art pieces for AP photo class, with a gallery show opening next week.
and so of course this is the week his phone, a fifth limb if ever there was one, decided to sputter and gasp and utterly die.
now a boy without phone is, i quickly realized, a boy whose life is verging on crumbling.
for one, he had no way to wake up in the morn, as that phone serves to jangle him from deepest of sleep, with its haranguing alarm that wakes the whole house–except, of course, for the intended sleeper.
for two, since the world has been stripped of pay phones, he couldn’t call for a ride, or tell me what time to be where.
and the mere look on his face, the oh-my-god-if-one-more-thing-goes-i’m-going-too, it stirred me to muster some forces.
as i dashed in his room that dreary morning, just after he’d trudged off to school, and suddenly i spied the dead phone stiff on the desk, i charged into supernurse mode. i dialed the phone store (from a phone with a pulse, thank you). i made an appointment. i squeezed in a triage, smack dab in the thick of a workday. the dear man at the store, he pulled out a toothbrush, of all the high-techy tools. he oohed and ahhed at all the gunk that had nestled into the cracks of the phone. and then, in unsparing words, he looked up and declared: “this phone has come to its end.”
he rattled through options. i attached price tags to every last one. but then i thought of that kid, i thought how little he asks and how hard he tries.
i told the man i’d like a replacement, didn’t care much that it’d cost more, by a long shot, than popcorn and movies.
the nice man played a rare card: without my even asking, he rang up the bill, and as he punched in the buttons asked me something about was the battery working. i said i really didn’t know the state of the battery, but then when he showed me the final sum, he’d sliced off a whole $120, because he deemed it a “battery issue.”
then he handed me a brand new phone, and i brushed the tear from my eye, sprouted due to his kindness and the mere fact that not even dollars would keep me from fixing a hole in the skin of my kid.
i walked out of that store as if on a hovercloud, my chest nearly heaving at the rare joy of success, my mood downright giddy. what had felt like a mountain just hours ago, was now whittled down to a clearing. i couldn’t subside the pure joy of lifting the load from my boy. knew, through and through, there’d be more times than not that i’d stand on the sidelines helpless, while the stretchers were rushed on the field. but for now, there was only delight.
and that night, when that tired tall kid strode through the door, expecting to spend yet another long night without phone, he looked at his bedside table, and there, lit up and flashing the time, he spied the fruits of my motherly labors.
he practically rubbed at his eyes, as if he couldn’t believe what he saw: the one thing he wished for that day, the one thing he couldn’t possibly have carved out a minute to do, it was lying there, shiny and new, just waiting for him to pick up and text.
it’s a rare and heady day. but oh how glorious a gift to get to play like a mama magician and make one bumpy life all smooth again.
no old hare ever looked so magnificent, no matter the hat from which it was pulled.
have you yanked any rabbits out of hats lately? anyone pulled one out for you?
No magic rabbits pulled out, but did experience a few God-nods that satedmy desire to feel that alls right with the world. I chuckled at your litanyof a boy’s amore affair with his phone; fifth limb, indeed. Your Mothers’heart is such an inspiration….so much love and healing mixed into thefrustrations of the role mix. May that starry alignment be at your beckand call more often to make the journey soul-satisfying and that senior’spath a bit more eased.Love, Another MomXOX
A rabbit who stubbornly wouldn’t come out of his hat, until patience, persistence, prayer, and chance collided and the rabbit leaped — and so did I. I had missed a deadline to sign my younger one up for something, but his big brother made it. I signed up for the next possible date, and started phoning. Two weeks of checking, asking, seeking advice, balancing odds, weighing pros and cons. Waitlist? Hoped-for cancellation? Change the brother’s date? Change both boys’ location? Show up on the day and hope against hope that lttle bro would get in, and even if he did would he now be nervous? And I couldn’t let either of the boys know what was going on, they need solutions, not problems. Besides, I had promised. A mom’s promise is sacred. The day, the final day for late registration, I called to change both boys to same date, different place. I asked “Can you check just once more if a space opened up?” The casual answer: “Oh, there is an opening”. Where there hadn’t been 20 minutes before. “Double-check? Someone dropped out? Are you sure? You’re sure?! This date? This place? For this child? AND this child? YES!” And so it happened. So glad no one was home, so I could whoop and holler and dance and sing hallelujahs to all the saints who braved the tangled web of bureaucracy and knit a passage for us. When the bros got home, it was a non-chalant “oh, and you’re set for that thing on the 12th” over snacks, to which they mumbled through apple slices “thanks, Mom.” And I forwarded their “thanks” on high. Whew. The event has come and gone as if nothing ever threatened it. Life is good.
‘nother barb, i LOVE that story. that is exactly precisely the thing. the can’t let go of it, won’t let it go of it spirit. and the not letting on that it took too much of anything (though in my case i had to share the story with all of my boys about how the sales dude so blithely took care of me without me realizing that was the deal, and of course i had to tell on myself, how i sprouted a tear right there in front of the mountain-man sales dude with the way-hip glasses). the beauty of miracles unfolding in the midst of a day.and mary mary how fine that your comment button seems to have found its way to working. it is so good to have a place to tell stories of otherwise invisible triumphs and to have them met with such understanding hearts, and storytellers in kind….