woozy
with every key i type, my little self gets woozier. i am a poster child today for the prehistoric side of medicine, in which (as one dear friend has said) we can zap folks into outer space and land them on the moon, but we do not know how to clear out one’s insides short of filling them with Drain-O, and starving them besides.
yes, yes, i’ve had this date on my calendar for months now. after my last attempt at this adventure in inner exploration got canceled at the last minute when my doctor got around to reading my medical history and realized i have uncharted and “torturous” insides. so they signed me up for the Drastic Plan, not the ordinary one for ordinary insides, but the special class for those who present gastroenterologists with high hurdles and sinuous turns in which to get tangled.
they are knocking me flat out, with full-strength, full-bore anesthesia, because who in the world wants to be even half-awake when dead ends and cul-de-sacs are bumped into.
i’ve had a guide or two, holding my hand through this gut-wrenching adventure. i was pointed to the aptly named White Diet, for all you are allowed to eat are things the color of freshly-fallen snow, a few of which have not touched my lips in half a century: white bread, white potato, white cottage cheese, white turkey slices, white insides of cucumber (oddly, though they must be peeled and seeded). if it’s white, it’s allowed. but only for a week. then one moves onto the part where things get serious, and clear. for three days now i’ve sustained myself on black coffee (color’s back!), clear apple juice, clear chicken broth, clear electrolyte gatorade. i tried coconut water and i gagged. and that’s as far as i will go in the TMI department (that’s too-much-information, mom!)
i am thus waving my white flag here, and surrendering to the woozies. before i pass out here at the keyboard (fear not, my trusty driver and lifelong handholder will get me safely to the hospital and back), i am going to fling you one or two juicy morsels (both from Mary Os) i found for you this week, and then i shall quietly slink away to await the end of this torturous two weeks.
here’s an irony: i stumbled on a top-secret recipe for true irish scones, and because i occasionally indulge in self-torture (kidding, mom!) i am passing it along. because it looks delicious (cream and irish butter have a way of working their charms) and because a girl can dream even when she’s starving. this comes from my friends at Food 52, who might have snuck it out of someone’s east village kitchen:
By Nea Arentzen
these irish soda bread scones were inspired by Mary O’s, an irish soda bread shop in new york’s east village not named for one of the chair’s patron saints of poetry, the other Mary O (only in new york would you find a specialty soda-bread shop). apparently, they serve theirs with homemade blackberry jam and Kerrygold butter, but Nea, the baker here, opts for store-bought strawberry jam instead. either way, she writes, you can’t go wrong. she adds this baking note: “the dough comes together quickly and all in one bowl, then i scoop it into mounds in a cupcake tin for extra height and stability.”
Serves 12 large scones
Prep time: 10 min
Cook time: 40 min
4 cups (480 grams) all-purpose flour
1/2 cup (100 grams) granulated sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
3/4 cups (170 grams) unsalted butter, cold and cut into cubes
1 cup raisins
2/3 cups buttermilk (or milk plus 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice)
2/3 cups heavy cream, plus more for egg wash
1 egg yolk
strawberry jam, to serve
softened butter, to serve
flakey sea salt, to serve
1. Heat the oven to 425 degrees F with a rack placed in the center position. Generously grease a 12 cup cupcake tin.
2. In a large bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the cold, cubed butter and press into the flour with your fingers until it resembles coarse sand and no large butter clumps remain. Do this quickly as you don’t want the butter to have time to soften too much.
3. Stir in the raisins, then drizzle in the buttermilk and cream. Use your hands to scoop and fold the dough together until the flour is absorbed, trying to mix and press as little as possible. Gently scoop the dough into the cupcake tin, evenly dividing between the 12 cups.
4. In a small bowl, mix the egg yolk with 2 tablespoons heavy cream. Brush over each scone. Bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out mostly clean, 22 to 25 minutes. (If using a kitchen thermometer, it should read at least 190 degrees F.)
5. Serve warm with jam, butter, and flakey sea salt.
and now for this bit of inspiration from another most beloved Mary O:
i cannot leave this post without sending the biggest birthday trumpet blast to two of my beloveds who happen to have back-to-back birthdays, auntie M today, and sweet P yesterday. the world, my world, is a taste of heaven here because their hearts beat alongside mine. i love them both with every ounce i’ve got.
taking a cue from Mary O, what noble things are you thinking of this week? and what’s the most improbable thing you’ve tried lately?
pull up a chair 